AfterParty Answers: Is Sex Addiction Real?

AfterParty Answers: Is Sex Addiction Real?


sexting coworkersOver here at AfterParty, we receive an onslaught of questions from people about addiction and recovery. And well, our new video series AfterParty Answers gives us an opportunity to address them. In this episode, Anna David and Danielle Stewart examine past AfterParty stories to answer a reader’s question about whether or not sex addiction is real.

Well, Danielle finds this question terribly amusing, perhaps because she’s written about the ugly side of this supposedly sexy disorder. But this isn’t really a laughing matter—many people are quick to shrug off sex addiction as a non-issue but, the ladies argue here, some of those folks may be doth protesting too much. In order to help out those who may be wondering if they fall into the sex addict camp, Anna and Danielle call out some of the signs of potential sex addiction that Susanna Brisk mentioned in her story, 10 Signs You Might Be a Sex Addict, and they also summarize Ethlie Ann Vare’s video from AfterParty’s Ask the Experts section where she told viewers some of the telltale signs.

There are, of course, many nuances to this query. So if you want our complete answer, check out this vid. While the girls aren’t in any way medical professions (emphasis on “aren’t in any way medical professionals”), they are sober folks who have not only grappled with some of the issues being asked about but have also written scads of articles for this very site on them. Tune in every Wednesday to see what you, our faithful readers, want to know.

Want to see all of our AfterParty Answers videos? Good news! You can simply click here!

 Photo by Andy Marx



  1. Yeah, “dating” in sobriety before Big Book 12 Steps, we’d unscrew our heads and then drink ourselves, like a six pack of paper dolls. Neither knew any better, me or them.. Sex meant love and we all wanted to be loved. We will love eachother for a few hours. The world will leave us alone. My emotional coping skills were limited to pain, settling for less, keeping secrets, only physical touch would offer relief. My new partner offered purpose, with a temporary emotional over ride, a reason for living.

    The good thing about AA was the “nothing to see here folks” attitude.. Similar to the internet unaccountability. Everyone is so self centered that by the next weeks meeting something or someone else would have taken center stage and I would have gotten the hook and moved on too. Maybe that new girl I got a glimpse of from Monday night will save me, be the one. I wait all week to see her again and sure enough, there she is. So, catch her at the break, some eye contact during the meeting? Be the last to return to the meeting, finalizing a mindless butt can conversation?

    We are comfortable, we end up down at the beach parkinglot after the AA meeting where we have just met hours earlier. We are giving love our best shot, mindfull of how great AA is. AA has brought us together. We’re not drunk, we are free! We both have something to give but we just don’t know what it is. You want me, somebody wants me, I am wanted! This is love. I need to go to this place as much as I can. I don’t realize it but it matters little who joins me there. I am beat up and broken, damaged goods. I have no idea I am looking for someone to fix me every day. People…That’s all I know. People broke me, people can fix me. If you want me then I want me too. Yes, sex is very troublesome.

    From childhood abuse my Spirit was stolen, sex is bad, I’m bad, blamed for being abused, my fault.. You are really taking a risk being with me, you must really want me more than anything. You are just like me? This is it, this is where I belong. I try to fix myself. Multiple sex partners offers a way for you to fix me. I give you what I think you want and fix you too. I share my safe place, my new found philosophy.

    I am now using people up much too fast. Just as my alcoholic progression hit a wall, I could not drink anymore, alcohol stopped working. I can’t take my pain away with people. They’re aren’t enough of them or they’re not the right kind.

    At the absolute jumping off point now. The Big Book offers me hope, this becomes willingness. I make a fragmented decision to join others on the suggested Spiritual path, the long road of reconstruction.

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AfterParty Magazine is the editorial division of It showcases writers in recovery, some of whom choose to remain anonymous. Other stories by AfterParty Magazine are the collective effort of the AfterParty staff.