10 Signs You Might Be A Sex Addict (from a Semi Recovered Sex Addict)
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10 Signs You Might Be A Sex Addict (from a Semi Recovered Sex Addict)

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1. You’re swiping Tinder while you’re on a Tinder date. Did someone say “Never enough?” You’re already likely to get laid, but you’re still looking for more. If you could substitute the gin part of Bill’s Story with sex, you’re doing the people equivalent of ordering a double.

2. Your longest relationship can be measured by 24-hour periods. If you’ve never been able to have a relationship that outlasted a few days, or even weeks, but it always seems like it’s because of “him” or “her,” it might actually be you. If you’re over the age of 20 (let alone 40), try giving that shit a Google. Hint: Look under “love avoidant.”

3. You own more sex toys than shoes. If you’re female, it’s everything from the Rabbit to the Bullet (and you may have once short-circuited your building on charging day). If you’re male, you have dolls, plastic vaginas, fleshlights or a fifi for each day of the week.

4. You regularly have to move because the area becomes too densely populated by people you’ve slept with. Perhaps you’ve gotten a t-shirt made that says, “I don’t fuck local” to combat this issue? (Also included: having to move to another country because you can’t go get coffee without bumping into someone you’ve previously mowed through.)

5. As you’re coming, you’re already thinking about how you’re going to get the next orgasm. Greedy, gluttonous and insatiable can be problems, not just with food. While some women who are sex addicts don’t orgasm at all, they still want more, in search of that reliable dopamine/oxytocin/endorphin high produced by sex. But, like other process addictions, you need more and more to get activated. For men, this can look like delayed ejaculation or none at all; to get turned on, you have to think about something so nasty that no one has even filmed it yet.

6. You’re dating more people at the same time than play on a NBA team. Or WNBA. Or NFL. Or NHL. You get the idea.

7. You’re dating an entire NBA (or WNBA) team and none of them know about each other until you tweet out a picture, earning a lot of bro high-fives if you’re a man, and suicide-inducing flame thrown shame if you’re a woman.

8. When filling out the “hobbies” section on an online dating profile, you struggle to find euphemisms for oral sex (“I enjoy hiking, especially when I get lost and have to blow the whistle”). You have nothing you enjoy more than fucking strangers, why waste time pretending to like World of Warcraft?

9. You would be frightened to see your sex partners in daylight. Have you lowered your standards to a scary degree? Did you swear you would never fuck a troll under a bridge, and then climbed down by the river and did him anyway? Did you consider chainsawing your own arm off in the morning as you woke up next to someone who was so creepy that even when sleeping, he or she made the hair on the back of your neck stand up?

10. Your contacts are programmed with names like “Bar Guy” and “Glitter Girl.” Do you know the names of people you have swapped fluids with? “Someone beginning with a ‘D’” doesn’t count. Many people have partner’s names that have been lost to the sands of time, but if increasing numbers of the people you sleep with can be tagged with the word “Anonymous,” it might be time to seek out a program with that same last name. (Or, you could always just move.)

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About Author

Susanna Brisk is a writer and Sexual Intuitive® who has over a decade’s sobriety from alcohol. Her tell-it-like-it-is missives on sex, love, dating, divorce, parenting, mental health, recovery, and BDSM have been read by the better part of a million people on Medium, Dame, sexpert, thoughtcatalog, yourtango, Sexual Health Magazine, and Real Sex Daily. Her latest book “How to Get Laid Using Your Intuition” went to #1 on Amazon in the Sexual Health category.