A&E struck gold back in 2005 when they launched Intervention, a docu-style series following alcoholics and drug addicts (and some struggling with other disorders) from what we hope is their bottom through a staged intervention and, if all goes well, off to treatment. Though briefly canceled in 2013, the show was (thankfully) revived just a year later and is now in its 15th season. This week’s episode is a re-run from Intervention Canada, which originally debuted on October 8, 2011, but aired on A&E on Sunday, July 3.
This is TJ
Though certainly not the most dramatic subject of this season of Intervention, TJ—aka Terri Lynn (no one seems to know where the “J” came from)—may be the most interesting. The 38-year-old mother of three teenaged girls will sometimes make her daughters breakfast in the morning and send them off to school; other times she will randomly disappear for nights, weeks and months on end to shoot coke with her drug dealer in a dingy hotel room. Once the lead singer of a up and coming rock band, TJ blew the group’s chance at a record deal by disappearing for two months, in the middle of a tour, to do coke.
While this all might sound like the story of a woman who had it all and lost it, the real tragedy of TJ’s life is that she hasn’t really lost any of it (except maybe the record deal). Surrounded by enablers, TJ has managed to find a man to raise her kids (though he isn’t the biological father), and when he is too busy roaming the streets looking for her, her kids are trained to raise themselves. It’s taken a village of denial to keep TJ propped up but after more than 10 years of abuse, that is all about to change.
What It Was Like
No matter how much many of us try and fight it, we often turn out like our mothers. And Terri Lynn is no exception. Though her mother, Inger, didn’t abandon her as a child to go off and shoot coke, she did give birth to a heroin addict’s baby at the age of 19. And as a young, single mother, Inger spent most of her time out of the house working as a waitress to make ends meet while her daughter aged into a fiercely independent and strong willed teen—dropping out of high school at the age of 16. Now a waitress herself, Terri Lynn opted for earning money and using it to party rather than following in the footsteps of her peers and going off to college.
But drugs didn’t enter the picture for Terri Lynn until she was 21 and found the zippiness of a cocaine high a welcome addition to her work-hard-play-harder lifestyle. But when she became pregnant with her first daughter at 22, Terri kicked her baby’s daddy to the curb and traded in her coke straw for a baby bottle.
What Happened
All seemed well and good until Terri gave birth to twins (the result of a union with yet another man who wasn’t father material). Now a working and single mother of three, Terri found herself overwhelmed and exhausted and turned to her old friend cocaine for help. She also turned to Jamie—a handsome and decent guy who was working his way through college as a bartender. They fell in love and Terri welcomed Jamie into her kids’ lives as the only father figure they have ever known. She also began to pursue her life’s dream of being a singer. After putting an ad in the paper, she joined a local band and together they became “Junkie and The Spider.”
But as Jamie and Terri’s relationship progressed, so did her drug habit. Going hand in hand with her new rock star lifestyle, Terri—now answering to TJ— went from fun to problematic to scary, and Jamie stood by and watched as addiction overtook their lives. Her partying not only affected their relationship but it hijacked her ability to be a good parent, a reliable partner—and in the end realize her dreams as a singer.
What It’s Like Now
No matter how many times TJ fucks up, disappearing for weeks at a time, Jamie never leaves—no matter what she does, who she does it with and how many nights, weeks or months she is gone. He’s even tracked her down in flea bag motels, telling her it’s time to come home. Sometimes she does, sometimes she doesn’t, because either way she knows Jamie will still be there in the morning.
But even with all this craziness, TJ doesn’t see herself as an addict in the typical sense. As she justifies it, “I can use drugs for months at a time and then all of a sudden, stop.”
After a recent binge that lasted five months, TJ is home now and playing the role of loving mother. She gives her kids breakfast, makes them lunch and then sends them off to school for the day. She spends her downtime to playing her guitar and looking at old videos for her former band—explaining, ironically, that the whole EP is about her love affair with drugs.
By mid-afternoon, TJ is getting restless and since she doesn’t do drugs at home (what decent mother would?), she heads out to her dealer’s house. “If I want to go somewhere to use cocaine, it has to be when they won’t miss me for a few hours,” she explains. Unfortunately, “a few hours” turns into a 36-hour run where Jamie and the camera crew have to implement a strategic operation to get her out.
The next morning, TJ acts like nothing happened and just slips back in to her role as a “loving mother and partner.” But what is most infuriating is her attitude towards the situation. “I just hope that no one is forgetting the fact that I went through it too,” she says. “It is what it is and it happened and I hurt too.”
The Pre-Intervention
Canadian-based Interventionist Andrew Galloway sits down with TJ’s mom, stepdad, boyfriend, former band mate and friend. He lays out the facts: “We know what we have been doing up to this point hasn’t been working.” Galloway calls them out as a group of people who may love TJ but have been letting her off the hook for her behavior and if they want to save her life, they have to change. “We filmed her using needles for 10 hours straight. She can’t be banging cocaine for 10 hours straight and not overdose some time down the road.” Everyone is in agreement that TJ needs to get help and Galloway urges each of them to come up with and commit to their bottom lines if she doesn’t agree to accept help.
Jamie says that although he isn’t the biological father of her kids, he thinks he would have no problem getting custody of the kids (in reality, that is very, very unlikely). Galloway suggests that if TJ refuses help, Jamie should move forward with that plan, take the kids and leave her. Jamie seems reluctant but says he is willing to do that if it comes down to it.
The Intervention
TJ enters the room where the intervention is and says, “I knew this was going to happen.” Galloway introduces himself and TJ takes a seat on the couch next to Jamie, who is wearing what looks like a bright white beanie missing its propeller (quite possibly the worst on-camera attire in the history of reality TV). But if TJ is reeling from embarrassment, she doesn’t show it. Galloway asks, “Are you okay?” She says she is and knew this was going on anyway. Though she is acting un-phased, it’s clear a defensive wall has gone up.
She allows everyone to read their letter—her mother is crying, her best friend of 25 years is crying, Jamie is crying and her daughter is crying, “I can’t be the mother of this family,” the daughter says, yet TJ remains composed and stoic the entire time.
“Please Mom, will you accept the help that is being offered today?” her daughter asks. TJ looks at her daughter and makes what I can only describe as duck lips.
Galloway asks if there is anything TJ wants to say to her family. “Well, thanks for finally opening your eyes and helping me,” she says almost curtly. “The only way I was able to express myself was through my music. If anyone wants to go and revisit the lyrics on our first EP, it will be loud and clear what was going on, exactly what I needed and where I was. I think people were probably listening but not hearing.” A pristine example of self-centered addict disgustingness.
The good news is, TJ willingly accepts treatment and immediately leaves on a plane to Cedars at Cobble Hill on Vancouver Island in British Columbia.
Seven Weeks Later
TJ reflects back on the intervention and admits to being extremely angry with Jamie and feeling betrayed by him. But she understands now that this doesn’t make any sense since he actually saved her life. Jamie comes to visit and the reunion is a good one. “She seems genuinely happy—she seems like her old self again,” Jamie tells the camera.
But it wasn’t an easy road getting to where she is now. Staff at Cedars report that when TJ came into treatment she “brought her own weather system.” They say she was loud and difficult to access emotionally because of the humor she was hiding behind.
“I wasn’t feeling that surrender,” TJ says, “and then some letters came in from my kids and they clearly separated addiction from Mommy and I thought that I can’t hide anymore.”
TJ completed treatment and returned to her family. She has been sober since June 19, 2011.
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