AfterParty Answers: Do I Need to go to Alanon?

AfterParty Answers: Do I Need to go to Alanon?

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alanonOver here at AfterParty, we receive an onslaught of questions from people about addiction and recovery. And well, our video series AfterParty Answers gives us an opportunity to address them. In this episode, Anna David and Danielle Stewart examine past AfterParty stories to answer a reader’s question: do I need to go to Alanon?

Want to see all of our AfterParty Answers videos? Good news! You can simply click here! You can also submit your questions for future episodes here.

The woman isn’t asking because she thinks an hour or so of listening to people talk about other people’s drinking and drugging sounds like fun but because she and her newly sober husband are fighting a lot. Anna and Danielle jump right into this one, explaining that Alanon was started by good old Bill W.’s wife, Lois, and it’s for the loved ones of alcoholics to deal with the frustrations of living with alcoholics, as well as for adults who grew up in alcoholic homes who may be maladjusted as a result. The girls mention a story by Johnny Plankton on what alcoholics (and all other people) should know about Alanon, as well as one by Dawn Clancy about when she moved in with an alcoholic roommate. Conclusion: no, you don’t have to go to a program because of someone else’s drinking but your life may be much better if you do.

There are, of course, many nuances to this query. So if you want our complete answer, check out this vid. While the girls aren’t in any way medical professions (emphasis on “aren’t in any way medical professionals”), they are sober folks who have not only grappled with some of the issues being asked about but have also written scads of articles for this very site on them. Tune in every Wednesday to see what you, our faithful readers, want to know.

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  1. And if you (the alcoholic/addict) are in a relationship with someone who refuses to try Alanon, you’re probably in the wrong relationship. If my friend or partner asked me to attend anything that would potentially strengthen our relationship I’d take it seriously. I’ve been to their bar/bat mitzvahs, Mormon, Buddhist, mountain biking, knitting clubs, etc, because they wanted to give me a glimpse into their lives, share perspective, and I’ve always grown as a result. Cool.
    On the other hand, someone who refuses(!!!) or puts it off forever never intending to go, isn’t your friend and is most likely hiding their enabler status from themselves. Thank them for the good times, make your amends, and run. Far away. If that’s not possible, such as with parents, realize that you will have a limited relationship. Honor their choice to stay right where they are. If you are the one needing to “fix” them, go to Alanon yourself.

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AfterParty Magazine is the editorial division of RehabReviews.com. It showcases writers in recovery, some of whom choose to remain anonymous. Other stories by AfterParty Magazine are the collective effort of the AfterParty staff.