Every alcoholic in recovery still has to wrestle with painful memories from their substance abusing past. The promise of recovery is being able to forgive ourselves and move forward, but that doesn’t mean there aren’t still days when you wince and cringe at the recollection of something horrible you did while intoxicated. I can’t imagine what it would be like to face a living consequence of a past mistake every, single day of my life, but that’s exactly what Kathy Mitchell does. The Washington Post recently ran a story about Kathy, and daily life with her daughter, Karli, who is a 43-year-old woman. But Karli will never mentally or emotionally develop beyond the level of a six-year-old due to Fetal Alcohol Syndrome.
Kathy’s Action, Karli’s Consequences
Kathy had Karli when she was 18. Throughout her pregnancy she drank wine and beer in addition to smoking cigarettes. Karli was actually Kathy’s second child and despite many health issues from birth, it wasn’t until Kathy noticed that Karli wasn’t reaching certain growth milestones that she became worried. Early in Karli’s life, Kathy was so unaware of alcohol consumption’s impact on developing fetuses, she drank heavily though two other pregnancies. One of those children died at birth and the other only lived for ten weeks. These incidents eventually led to such psychological stress, Kathy checked in to a residential rehab and got sober when she was 30 years old. She resolved to change her life and became a certified addiction counselor. Only then did she start to learn about the serious harm even small amounts of drugs and alcohol can have on unborn babies.
Doctors had not diagnosed Karli with Fetal Alcohol Syndrome (FASD), as its symptoms are often very similar to other conditions such as cerebral palsy. Karli’s condition was not properly identified until she was 16. Kathy, armed with the knowledge she was gaining in her own work, took her to Georgetown University Hospital. Doctors told Kathy her alcohol consumption caused long lasting brain damage to Karli. Kathy told the Post, “It was one of the worst days of my life, and at that moment I knew that I had to do what I could to prevent this from happening to another child.”
“What If?” Syndrome
The most upsetting thing about hearing a person has FASD is the knowledge of how easily it could have been prevented. I can’t imagine the mental anguish of constantly wishing you could redo a portion of your life. Kathy is doing the best possible thing to correct the error of her ways though. She is currently the vice president of the National Organization on Fetal Alcohol Syndrome and uses the platform to encourage others to learn from her mistakes. According to their site, “Developing babies have the same blood alcohol concentration as their mother, but they lack the ability to process or metabolize alcohol.” That’s a straight-up medical fact I think we should all know.
Why Take a Chance?
I don’t understand why women risk even having a sip of booze while pregnant. Even if I hadn’t quit drinking, I’d like to think I would’ve been able to stop if I got pregnant or at least do it in moderation. But I was a binge drinker who had a very hard time stopping at two or three, much less one. If someone is a full-blown alcoholic when she gets pregnant, I have a little more sympathy. Obviously I don’t condone it but if she’s an addict who hasn’t been treated, like in the case of Kathy, it’s not entirely surprising. I do often read about alcoholic women who said they were able to convince themselves they weren’t alcoholics because they were able to stop for nine months during their pregnancy. One can only hope cases like Kathy’s are not the norm.
Not to mention, for people having babies in the 1970s—Kathy’s generation—there was just a lack of education and awareness. Even today, The American Academy of Pediatrics still can’t give a definitive answer about what amount of alcohol is okay during the nine months of pregnancy. Many women still drink very moderately but again, why risk it? Maybe your next-door neighbor’s baby didn’t show any side effects of the occasional glass of chardonnay she had during pregnancy but that doesn’t mean yours won’t. FASD is a spectrum-type condition so some children maybe display worse symptoms than others but I’d venture to say any time you consume alcohol while pregnant, you’re putting your child’s development at risk. Is that long-term consequence really worth the instant gratification of having a pint?
Might I remind you, sushi and deli meat are off the table when you’re knocked up. So if you can’t enjoy a spicy tuna roll or a solid turkey sammie, might as well lay off the sauce, too.
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