If 2016 has taught us anything it’s that nobody does trainwreck bigger or louder than Kanye West. The 39-year-old rapper has had a banner year when it comes to Twitter meltdowns, weird behavior and nonsensical outbursts. And, well, most of us who have “been there” have long sensed that perhaps maybe serious mental health issues were behind the shenanigans. As a sober person who had his own share of meltdowns, I have certainly offered my armchair mental health diagnosis of Kanye to anybody who would listen. Yet as the star was recently put on a psychiatric hold, I decided that maybe my days of summing up the mental health of celebrities should probably be over.
A Wild Week
On Saturday, November 19 in Sacramento, Kanye kicked off a week of “WTF” at a now infamous concert featuring a no-holds-barred rant about Jay-Z and Beyonce. This came on the heels of another concert in San Jose on Thursday which featured the world’s weirdest Trump endorsement and thousands of booing audience members. By Monday things got even weirder as West cancelled the rest of his tour. Just a few hours later, he was placed under observation in a Los Angeles hospital for “exhaustion” after exhibiting disturbing behavior at the home of his personal trainer.
Bottoming Out In Public
My own bottoming out in 2009 was less of a paparazzi covered affair and more of a falling down stairs at barbecues and starting text fights kind of thing. And look, I have no idea what Kanye’s boozing and drug habits are but chemicals played a huge part in my own insanity. I started using at age 15 and by 19 knew I was out of control but didn’t actually get sober until age 36. Suffice it to say, I needed a series of faceplants, both literal and figurative, before the light came on. My bottom, when it finally showed up, was gnarly and not exactly magical for the people around me either. Yet it was necessary for me to pop my head out of my backside, as it were. Therefore, I can’t help but identify with Kanye, despite the fact I’m not married to a Kardashian (sorry, Rob, I’m taken) nor do I have my own shoe line (yet!). The erratic behavior, the ongoing attacks against people, the victimhood—all stuff at the height of my own mental illness that were just part of my repertoire—are also the things we kind of love about Kanye.
How Could We Be So Heartless?
Before I go any further, I think we need to acknowledge the obvious: 2007 Britney Spears is sort of the benchmark from which all other celebrity meltdowns will be judged and although ugly to admit, I lapped up every minute of it. The head shaving, violent explosions and dramatic 911 calls put Britney in a news category, one which Kanye currently finds himself, of “Oh dear sweet lord. What will they do next?” The danger here is that folks with real mental illness are turned into a sideshow and we the people grab our buckets of popcorn and wait for the whole disaster to unfold.
It struck me how gross this is when that interview with Shelley Duvall went viral. The actress from The Shining and Popeye grabbed headlines when she appeared on Dr. Phil unrecognizable and clearly suffering from mental illness. It was a tawdry plea for ratings plopped down in the middle of November sweeps and despite being a lifelong People magazine reader and a former watcher of The Anna Nicole Show, I resisted. Days later when Kanye collapsed, I also didn’t go down the Internet rabbit hole and devour the glut of stories.
Being a person in recovery yet also holding front row tickets to celebrity mental illness side shows just doesn’t gel anymore. It feels gross and hypocritical. Not like Kanye cares if I’m talking smack about how cray-cray he is but just like how drugs and alcohol stopped working for me, so has the diagnosing and discussing of the mental health of others. For years in recovery, I hid behind the BS that I because I was sober it gave me some special insight and therefore the right to verbally assault others who were suffering. Eww. Sitting in judgement really isn’t a cute look when you consider the number of celebrities who are now open about overcoming mental illness (serious props to Amanda Seyfried, Demi Lovato and Kristen Bell, among others).
Besides, my own mental health magic act requires my undivided attention. The diagnosing of others, famous or not, is a toxic distraction. Instead, maybe I should try being compassionate like actor Emile Hirsch who tweeted his support to Kanye. Or maybe I should focus on things that really matter, like helping the people in my life who I know are struggling.
And, of course, working on my own line of shoes.
Photo courtesy of Jason Persse via Flickr [CC0 (https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/2.0)] (resized and cropped)
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