People get sober in all sorts of ways. Sometimes they just quit on their own. Sometimes they go to rehab. They show up in 12-step rooms, ashrams, churches and their parents’ basements. There is no one right way—something we’ve aimed to show in our collection of How I Got Sober stories. While we initially published these as either first person essays by our contributors or as interviews with anonymous sober folks, we eventually began to realize that there were other stories to tell: yours. This is our reader spotlight and this, more specifically, is Lisa:
Click here to see all of our How I Got Sober stories. Do you want to be featured in How I Got Sober? Email us here for details.
What is your sobriety date?
September 11, 2011
Where did you get sober?
New York, New York
When did you start drinking?
12 years old.
How would you describe your life before you quit drinking?
On the outside, my life appeared perfect: born in Brooklyn; raised by a middle class family on Long Island, New York; attended Gettysburg College; an athletic, A/B student; private school teacher in New York City; lived in luxury apartments and had a loving family and loyal friends.
On the inside, I was literally dying: 20-year battle with alcoholism and drug addiction; pain camouflaged behind a polished exterior; secrets bottled up and emotions buried and a false, shiny image. I fooled everyone—well, until the consequences began to set in.
What were your childhood and teenage years like?
My childhood was fun—dance classes, gymnastics, sports, holiday celebrations and summer vacations. My parents worked hard to provide for my sister and me. They were present at all of our special events.
I started to drink and drug at 12. I delved into cigarettes, marijuana and psychedelic drugs—anything that I could get my hands on. I hung out with people that liked to party and was disconnected from reality. I didn’t have a lot of passion or drive like I do today.
When did you first think you might have a problem?
I always knew that I had a problem.
How did you rationalize your drinking?
I didn’t. I didn’t care.
What do you consider your bottom?
I hit many bottoms. However, in 2011, I physically fell through a ceiling coming off a two-month alcohol and drug-induced bender. My legs dangled 10 feet above the ground that I could’ve fallen onto. I hit rock bottom and literally fell through it.
Did you go to rehab?
No.
Did you go to AA? If so, what did you think of it at first? How do you feel about it now?
I attended my first AA meeting seven years before I got sober. I felt sad, nervous and scared. I was shocked that every day people attended: lawyers, bankers, doctors, artists, teachers, actors, and well, everyone. I related to the stories and felt like I belonged. I have a strong appreciation for AA.
Have you worked the 12 steps? What is your opinion on them?
Yes, the 12 steps are my biggest gift. I was forced to look at the roots of my problems. It was painful and gratifying. The 12 steps are a road map to self-examination and healing. They taught me how to love myself and to be of service to others.
What do you hate about being an alcoholic?
I often ask, “Why me?” and, “How did it get so bad?”
What do you love about being an alcoholic?
I love not being hungover. I was physically sick all the time.
What are the three best tools you have acquired to stay sober and happy?
Trust God. Clean House. Help others. And writing. I love to write.
Do you have a sobriety mantra?
Trust God. Clean House. Help others.
What is the most valuable thing that has happened to you in recovery?
I pursued my dream to write and publish a book about my story. It’s titled Unschooled.
If you could offer a newcomer or someone thinking about getting sober any advice, what would it be?
Be open. Trust that your life will improve. You are worth it. So work it.
Any additional thoughts?
It’s key for me to stay humble. To believe in myself. To pursue my dreams. To appreciate all of my blessings. To be of service to others.
Find Lisa on her website or order Lisa’s book “Unschooled,” here.
Photo provided by Lisa Smith; used with permission.
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