People get sober in all sorts of ways. Sometimes they just quit on their own. Sometimes they go to rehab. They show up in 12-step rooms, ashrams, churches and their parents’ basements. There is no one right way—something we’ve aimed to show in our collection of How I Got Sober stories. While we initially published these as either first person essays by our contributors or as interviews with anonymous sober folks, we eventually began to realize that there were other stories to tell: yours. This is our reader spotlight and this, more specifically, is Brittney.
(We’ve broken Brittney’s story into two parts; catch up on part one.)
Click here to see all of our How I Got Sober stories.
Did you go to rehab? If so, where (list all along with time frames):
I went to Scottsdale Recovery Center in Arizona from March until September of 2014.
Did anything significant happen while in rehab that is important to your sobriety?
I had never left my hometown, so the fact that I jumped on a plane to fly across the country and get away from everything I had ever known was crazy. I needed to get out of that environment. I did a lot of intensive treatment in Arizona. Even though I was there voluntarily, I did not want to be there. I had a hard time opening up at first, but when I did everything seemed to shift for me. I was able to share things with these people that I had never shared before. It was refreshing and helped me to overcome things that I was never able to face in the past. I didn’t want to be there when I started but once my three months came to an end, I didn’t want to leave and I was able to stay another 3 months until I was ready to go home.
Did you go to AA?
I went to AA for the first time when I was in Arizona. I had always viewed AA as a cult and it scared me because it seemed so religious. I went to an all women meeting my first night and I honestly thought everyone there was lying. They looked like “normal” people, how could they be alcoholics? I was skeptical but I talked and I listened and I kept going back. It really is an amazing program once you give it a chance.
What do you hate about being an alcoholic?
I hate the stigma that goes along with being an alcoholic. I hate that some people view me as this messed up misfit. It is really hard for me to come out and say I am in recovery, because I am scared of what people are going to think of me
What do you love about being an alcoholic?
I love that once I was able to admit I was an alcoholic, I was able to put my life back together. I love the relationships I have gained and the ones I have salvaged. I love that sobriety has allowed me to face my demons and live life to the fullest without the crutch alcohol. As I stated before, I was not happy in my own skin, I still have my bad days, but I have learned to love myself.
What are the three best tools you have acquired to stay sober and happy?
Learning to let things go. Whether it is a relationship or a feeling, I have always clung to things in a very unhealthy way. I learned to let things go; I learned to move on and leave things in the past. Everything really does happen for a reason.
Staying in the moment. I was always focused on the future or the past. I wanted to change things that had already happened or worrying about what was going to happen next. Things will fall into place as long as you stay in the moment and do the next right thing.
Writing. While I was in rehab, I kept a journal and it helped me to put my emotions on paper rather than keep them inside until I burst, which was quite common before I quit drinking. Recently I decided to start writing again and created a blog. It not only helps me, but helps other people who are able to relate to what I write.
Do you have a sobriety mantra?
“Don’t let the things sobriety has given you, take you away from sobriety.”
It is very easy to get sidetracked and think that everything is going great: I have a good job, I am back in school and I really have a handle on my life; one drink wouldn’t kill me. But that is the thing, I am an alcoholic and it wouldn’t be one drink and eventually I would be right back where I started.
What is the most valuable thing that has happened to you in recovery?
I am able to be present. I was never really there when I was drinking. It was like a zombie had taken over my body and I was just going through the motions. Today I get to be there for the people I love and they are there for me. I have meaningful relationships. Recovery is the greatest thing that has ever happened to me.
Have you worked the 12 steps? What is your opinion on them?
I completed the 12 steps while I was in rehab and it was amazing. I had an incredible sponsor in Arizona and she helped me more than she knows. She made me feel so comfortable and walked me through everything. It was scary, because I was stuck on the religious aspect of it and I had never been a very religious person, other than going to church on holidays when I was younger. She helped me face things and overcome them. She became someone I could confide in and trust. Making amends was probably the greatest step of all, even if some people didn’t want to hear what I had to say, I was able to clean my side of the street.
If you could offer a newcomer or someone thinking about getting sober any advice, what would it be?
You have to do it for yourself. I tried to quit multiple times. I quit drinking because I got in trouble with the law but it was only temporary. I quit drinking because of the guys I dated but it only made me resent them and eventually choose alcohol over our relationship. Once I was ready and I was doing it for the right reasons, it finally worked. You also need to stick it out. It is hard, it’s not easy at all. There are going to be times when you want to throw in the towel, but you have to remember why you stopped in the first place. It really is just one day at a time. I never thought I would be writing a blog (Blackout Brit) about how I haven’t had a drink in over 2 years, but I am. It is possible, and it is so worth it!
This was part two of Brittney’s story; catch up on part one!
Click here to see all of our How I Got Sober stories.
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