People get sober in all sorts of ways. Sometimes they just quit on their own. Sometimes they go to rehab. They show up in 12-step rooms, ashrams, churches and their parents’ basements. There is no one right way—something we’ve aimed to show in our collection of How I Got Sober stories. While we initially published these as either first person essays by our contributors or as interviews with anonymous sober folks, we eventually began to realize that there were other stories to tell: yours. This is our reader spotlight and this, more specifically, is Aaron:
Click here to see all of our How I Got Sober stories. Do you want to be featured in How I Got Sober? Email us for details.
What is your sobriety date?
09/18/08
Where did you get sober?
Hunt, Texas (near San Antonio)
When did you start drinking?
I started drinking at 12, when my parents got a divorce.
How would you describe your life before you quit drinking?
My life before I got sober was an absolute mess, on the outside and even more so on the inside. I lost all of my close relationships. I was smoking crack, drinking and taking more pills then I could count. I was pawning everything I owned and even robbing the dealers.
What were your childhood and teenage years like?
I am not good at remembering life before I started drinking, maybe I repressed those memories, but its not very clear. I do know that I was a good student. I played every sport, but my main sport was soccer. I had the potential at 13 to get a scholarship, but this quickly went away with the drinking and drugs. My teen years were full of drinking and drugs and were for the most part fun until I got caught and kicked out of school. Where the normal brain would be like, “Crap now I need to get my stuff together,” this incident pushed me further down the rabbit hole.
When did you first think you might have a problem?
My father is an alcoholic and I new pretty early I had the gene. The key was turned around the time I was 16.
How did you rationalize your drinking?
I really didn’t make excuses or try to rationalize. I just didn’t give a damn about myself or my life. As my mentor Chris Raymer always says, I had a bad case of the “eff its.”
What do you consider your bottom?
Early September 2008, Hurricane Ike was coming toward Houston, Texas, where I was living at the time. I was so lost in my addiction that I actually thought the hurricane could not touch or affect me, plus I had been in a dozen hurricanes without any damage done. So I told my fiancé at the time we were not leaving. I was a completely psychotic mess at this point and had already burnt every bridge I had. She, being of more sound mind and with a child to think about, told me she was leaving and we were done. Thank goodness she did this because the storm was bad.
My mind was so gone that I did not think to stock up on food; instead I headed out in the hurricane and found the only crack corner still serving in the hurricane, and proceeded to rob him and steal my rock to go home and smoke it. When I got home the hurricane was in full effect and I got so paranoid that I thought the crack dealer was coming to kill me. I ended up getting stuck in the hurricane with no food or water for about a week. I was withdrawing from pain pills and Xanax and am pretty sure I was having seizures. I made a promise to God that if he got me through this, I would go back to treatment and do anything he asked of me. I have made a million foxhole prayers in my day, but this one was different. By the grace of God I have not wanted a drink or drug since that day!
Did you go to rehab?
Yes, I went to La Hacienda in Hunt, Texas (where Dr. Phil was sending people at that time). I went once in 2006 and again in 2008.
Did anything significant happen while in rehab that is important to your sobriety?
I had numerous “a-ha” moments at La Hacienda that completely changed my life. The one that sticks out the most was when one of the alumni told her story during a First Step meeting—it made so much sense to me that I began crying and realized that hope existed. I never looked back from there. She is an angel and to this day I believe she is one of two or three people that saved my life. I hope she knows how special she is to me and many other people!
Did you go to AA?
Yes, I attend AA. In my opinion, the AA groups in Kerville, Texas are by far the best in the world, and I’ve been to meetings in four states.
Have you worked the 12 steps? What is your opinion on them?
The 12 steps led me to God and got me sober and so much more. Being able to be honest with myself and others has really changed my life. Taking personal inventory and making amends is the best thing I have ever done.
What do you hate about being an alcoholic?
I don’t really hate anything about being an alcoholic/addict except the stigma attached to it.
What do you love about being an alcoholic?
I love being a recovered alcoholic/addict. It has provided me with the ability to save peoples lives—and how many people can actually say that? My story has become my greatest asset. All that pain and strife now serves a very important role in my life.
What are the three best tools you have acquired to stay sober and happy?
The ability to play the tape forward; being able to help others, and finally being able to recognize when I have wronged others and make amends in a timely fashion.
Do you have a sobriety mantra?
Let go and let God.
What is the most valuable thing that has happened to you in recovery?
I actually started school over and instead of accounting, I am now one internship away from being a mental health counselor.
If you could offer a newcomer or someone thinking about getting sober any advice, what would it be?
Get a great sponsor that works the steps quickly and go through those steps as aggressively as you drank and did drugs—with the desperation of a drowning man.
Any additional thoughts?
I just celebrated eight years and am the most grateful human being on this planet. I have been through an amazing amount of drama in recovery, but thankfully with the love of God, the people in the rooms, and the 12 steps, I haven’t come close to picking up a drink or using drugs. My phone is always on and open to anyone needing my help. I was willing to drive 30 miles at 3 am to get my drugs, so I’m willing to do the same for those in need. Service keeps us sober!
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