Your Pal, Palcohol
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Your Pal, Palcohol


Everyone’s been abuzz about the Alcohol and Tobacco Tax and Trade Bureau’s latest approval of Palcohol—powered alcohol that comes in 1 oz. packets intended for people who need a margarita on the go (just add water!). However, according to Time Magazine, the federal government’s approval of the labels for Palcohol has since been deemed an error. So while the creator of Palcohol—hiking and drinking enthusiast Mark Phillips—may have been turning power into Pina Coladas in celebration on April 8th, he awoke to the reality hangover to end all reality hangovers yesterday when the approval was rescinded.

Not So Fast, Pal

And it’s a good thing too. Alcohol in powered form presents a myriad of complications and is what Time Magazine calls a potential “public health nightmare.” Even the Palcohol website, which is as poorly written as the product is thought out, addresses the issue of snorting it—flippantly labeling people who consider this activity “goofballs.” Sadly, this is an improvement from the website’s original statement about snorting palcohol, which according to SB Nation, was: “Let’s talk about the elephant in the room…Yes, you can snort it. And you’ll get drunk almost instantly because the alcohol will be absorbed so quickly in your nose. Good idea? No. It will mess you up.” Thanks for the tip!

The marketing for Palcohol is geared toward the idea that we all know what it’s like to be kayaking on a Sunday afternoon and wish we had a Mai Tai to complete the experience. But what is suspect is the kind of person who feels so compelled to have an adult beverage while sporting that they are willing to take it in powder form. This is either someone who has enjoyed the decadence of a well-mixed cocktail and will surely be disappointed by the Sucralose-sweetened, gluten free insta-drink flavor of Palcohol or they have a very real drinking problem. Either way, not a great outcome, amIright?

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About Author

Danielle Stewart is a Los Angeles-based writer and recovering comedian. She has written for Showtime, E!, and MTV, as well as print publications such as Us Weekly and Life & Style Magazine. She returned to school and is currently working her way towards a master’s degree in Marriage and Family Therapy. She loves coffee, Law & Order SVU, and her emotional support dog, Benson.