We all know not to count our chickens before they hatch. But you also probably shouldn’t count them before piling them into the back of your truck without the protection of cages. Especially if you’re planning on driving drunk.
Count Your Chickens Before They Thrash
At least that’s what Luis Motola-Palacio of the improbably named Grand Island, Nebraska recently learned. When the 36-year-old stuffed the birds into his SUV, they numbered an even 100. But when cops pulled him over for driving with his lights off, only 57 birds were still breathing. The other 43 had been crushed to death by the lucky ones who ended up on the top of the literal pecking order.
Although this murder most fowl transpired back in January, it took until last Tuesday for Motola-Palacio to get sentenced. Charged with his second DUI (on a suspended license, no less) as well as livestock neglect, Motola-Palacio was given 180 days behind bars, fined $1,000 and banned from driving for a whopping 15 years. I’m not overly (aka remotely) familiar with central Nebraska, but I imagine driving’s pretty much the only way to get around. And someone’s going to have a heck of a time selling that truck.
According to his attorney, Motola-Palacio worked as a butcher out of his home, which at least helps explain the point of a truckload of chickens. It also helps to explain his arrest last summer, when he shot another man in the leg while butchering pigs in a neighborhood garage. There’s no word on whether Motola-Palacio was drunk at the time or just really, really angry. Fortunately, the victim recovered. If only the same could be said for the 43 chickens who did not.
Free as a Bird
The surviving chickens were carted off to the Central Nebraska Human Society, where they stayed for months as workers tried to secure legal custody from Motola-Palacio. Many of the birds had lost large chunks of their feathers due to stress, and the shelter workers aren’t sure how long they had been abused. Eventually, the birds were fostered out to new homes, which have been kept a secret for their own protection—just in case Motola-Palacio drunkenly decides to track down and go after every last one in a stolen golf cart, or maybe hitch-hiking. When it comes to this guy, anything is possible.
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