On my course to withdrawal and recovery, I faced several physical and social consequences of being an addict. Addiction is defined as a physical or psychological need for a habit-forming substance, such as a drug or alcohol. In physical addiction, the body adapts to the element being used and gradually requires more and more to produce the same effects produced initially by much smaller doses. In the beginning, my addiction was the best thing to ever happen to me. The writing ocean of words and emotions that I had been holding back was beginning to resurface. I felt like I had rediscovered my lost personality. The feeling in my senses was a very intense and remarkably unprecedented high each time. My reaction was, “Give me more…!”
Chasing a Never-Ending Imaginary Dream
Instead of living in the real world I became the Australian master of a world which no one knew existed but me. There were two things always going on in my head. One, does anybody notice that I might be high? And two, what am I actually supposed to be doing right now? Every chance I got I would break away from my everyday commitments to chase the new found object me! When I was completely intoxicated I enjoyed doing even the most mundane tasks at times, my efficiency even increased.
Unavoidable Social Repercussions of an Addiction
My boyfriend was the first to find out about my addiction. He said that he’s not satisfied and I was soon replaced. After he left, I noticed that my colleagues at work started acting differently around me. My boss called me in for a quick meeting. My timings were shifted to the graveyard shift when nobody would be around. My finances were running amuck. Every single day I was spending more than I could afford or earn. I can’t lose my job. This was when I realized that I knew I had to change. I can’t let this addiction be the end of my life.
Discovering the Power of Nature Writing
I knew I needed to take the bull by the horns and find something to replace my addiction before it was too late. Strapped for cash, I was always starving. I had no social life anymore because nobody wanted to be around me. Accompanied by only my solitude, I found my educator house of emotions to inspire me to write. It was sunrise in a mountainous region with extraordinarily tall trees and wild animals, which became the turning point of my life.
“Everything synced with nature and nature is everywhere.”
Said by Mrs. Cynthia John in a lecture in our convocation ceremony. She is serving at Crowd Writer.
At this fabulous location I recalled the same saying. Humanity is the epitome of creation, which is a part of nature. Being the ultimate creation, I cannot despair. I can and will overcome all the complications and obstacles in life. My personality is the sum of all of the events and experiences I have faced in my life. Here at this awesome setting, I could relate each and every one of the events in my life with this breath-taking sunset. I cannot have experienced so much, all for nothing.
Motivation for a Positive Transformation
Denial is one of the key factors that complicates an addict’s recovery. After having lost so many relationships and friends because of addiction, I was no longer in denial. It was in complete loneliness that I began to have suicidal tendencies. I did not enjoy the isolation anymore. I knew I needed help, and not in the form of more drugs. I decided to go to a serene outdoor setting to write about my feelings to calm all the voices in my head.
Channel Islands National Park became the venue of choice for me. I chose this park because it was quite scenic. More importantly, because I knew I couldn’t get any drugs here. Withdrawal could be a difficult process and I did not want to complicate matters any further with more drugs. All the plants and wildlife were having a soothing effect. Here I started to pour my mind out on to the paper. Being in nature was a huge relief from the hustle and bustle of everyday city life.
Relaxing, Stimulating, Encouraging and Uplifting Effects
Breaking the habit was having a psychological and physical impact on my body. Stomachaches broke out from time to time with cold sweats. There were times when I felt my body trembling and let’s not forget about the lonely sleepless nights. Living in the city had made me violent, agitated and edgy for no reason at all. The sound of the TV at home made me believe that somehow I am not alone.
Now I could slowly but gradually recollect my thoughts and admire all the simple yet inimitable characteristics of the great outdoors. Breathing fresh air in the natural environment in comparison to city air has a refreshing effect on the heart and lungs. In a short period, I realized that nature could make you happier. Living side by side with Mother Nature made me comprehend that it is okay to make a mistake every once in a while. Not every mistake has to be set in stone. We can learn from our past and make the best of our future.
Maintaining a Long-Term Healthy Self-Image
Nature had given me the strength to reintegrate back into society without falling victim of the same manipulation. Our community has so many different forms of deceit on so many different levels that it is cumbersome to overlook. From the visual advertising on the streets to the constant repetition of advertising by the media the deception is very misleading. Metropolitan life will make you believe anything without even questioning the reasoning behind it if it has a financial gain attached to it.
Whenever I get exhausted from all the hypocrisy and dishonesty of cosmopolitan life, I plan an outing where I can experience the natural elements to revive myself. Realizing that drugs, toxins, and narcotics are not the solution but a repercussion of having to live in this artificial manmade world that we call city life has given me heaps of confidence.
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