I’ll never forget the moment I saw him. It was 1997 and I was in a packed sweaty West Hollywood nightclub called Cherry.
Yes, the man who is gone way too soon, the great George Michael, was standing there, as glamorous and handsome as ever, with a distinct “IDGAF” attitude. He had already endured his notorious public restroom arrest but all that had done in my eyes was make him seem even more unstoppable. At that point in time, Michael perfectly represented the badass spirit of open sexuality (even though it took him awhile to officially come out of the closet). But as details emerge of his death and his sad last days struggling with heroin addiction, I realize my unflappable, courageous, teenage idol was just another person grappling with a disease.
Careless Whispers
It says something about the popularity and iconic status of George Michael that he could virtually drop off the celebrity radar for years and still remain universally beloved. Since a 2010 car crash, all that we’d really hear about him were rumors that his body was ravaged by drugs and that he was living an out of control life.
His previous battles with drugs were well-chronicled; he’d even admitted in a 1997 interview to smoking 25 joints a day after the death of his lover Anselmo Feleppa. Still, the reports I’ve been reading over the past few days, about his alleged battles with heroin addiction, are unbearably sad.
Praying For Time
Like most addicts, George Michael had a series of relapses and stints in rehab. The most recent was a 2015 stay in a Swiss rehab (the most expensive rehab in the world, by the way) reportedly for cannabis addiction. But many friends of the star believe his status as a celebrity didn’t exactly help him to stay sober. Michael’s friend, publicist Gary Farrow, told The Sun, “I believe easy access to drugs was the cause of his problems. I thought George was too bright to get involved with illegal substances. But once this disease gets hold of you, it’s hard to fight it.”
It seems that Michael, like thousands of other addicts, went through moments of thinking that the worst of his addiction was truly over; when he discussed his experiences with detox and drug counseling in a 2010 interview following his car crash, he said, “It feels so completely behind me now. It really does.”
Something to Save
We’ll never really know what the last days of George Michael actually looked like. What we’re left with is a catalogue of incredible songs and a brazen sexual legacy that showed kids like me it was okay to be gay. Yet I hope that we can honor another part of George Michael as the days go by. George Michael, the addict who struggled to stay sober, is just as important to remember as the songwriter or the sexuality trailblazer.
As opioids wreak havoc on the famous and not so famous alike, talking honestly about the disease of addiction has never felt so vital. Recognizing that George Michael was not only an incredible artist but also an addict with a disease doesn’t negate his legacy. If anything, it humanizes this idol that I stared at like he was a god that night in West Hollywood.
While I can’t speak for his fans that aren’t addicts in recovery, I do know that what we all loved about him was his ability to touch our hearts; knowing we struggled in the same ways only makes me feel more touched by the untouchable star.
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