Dum Dums for Dumb Dumbs
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Dum Dums for Dumb Dumbs


I sometimes feel a tinge of regret when I think about getting sober in 2003, right before the medical marijuana craze went mainstream in Los Angeles. Not that I was ever a big pot person; I mean, I got high nearly every day of high school and college but it wasn’t a drug I felt passionate about. Then again, it wasn’t offered in cherry-flavored lollipops, either.

Smugglin’ Suckers

Which is why I kind of empathize with the two men who were arrested in San Clemente, California last Thursday after attempting to go through a checkpoint with a trunk full of candy and baked goods laced with THC (aka tetrahydrocannabinol, the fun part of the cannabis plant). According to the LA Times, Border Patrol said the candy seemed to be “geared towards children.”

Now either there was something particularly child-like about these treats, like they were wrapped in Dora The Explorer cellophane or labeled “For Children Only” or California’s Border Patrol is trying to infer that the drug transporters were not only stoners but perverts as well. Which is completely unfair. The only children that THC lollipops are geared towards are those in their 40s who still rip bong hits.

Get Stoned but Stay Smart

Though police need probable cause to search your trunk, I imagine that border checkpoints operate by different rules. Still, I wonder if this millennial version of Cheech and Chong were most guilty of being stupid—either by not properly sealing their package or by getting super fly baked before going through the checkpoint (or both).

Since marijuana is now more socially acceptable to smoke in Los Angeles than cigarettes, I think people often forget it’s actually not federally legal—especially when, in addition to a cannabis candy store, you’re transporting 12.68 pounds of it and seem to be coming from the direction of the Mexican border.

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About Author

Danielle Stewart is a Los Angeles-based writer and recovering comedian. She has written for Showtime, E!, and MTV, as well as print publications such as Us Weekly and Life & Style Magazine. She returned to school and is currently working her way towards a master’s degree in Marriage and Family Therapy. She loves coffee, Law & Order SVU, and her emotional support dog, Benson.