Disorderly Mothering
Grohman was so drunk while out for a stroll on Monday that she fell over and knocked her one-month-old right out of his stroller and onto the sidewalk, five feet from the busy road. She pled guilty to endangering a child and will serve 180 days in jail. The baby is now in the hands of Child Protective Services and presumably doing fine for the time being. But let’s be honest—the real story here isn’t the parenting fail, it’s the mugshot win.
Work It, Girl
Grohman’s face-framing shot speaks for itself. Maybe she was drunk enough she thought it was a photobooth. Plastered or not, the girl knows how to vogue. HyperVocal has already named the pic the “Mugshot of the Year,” but it may in fact be the mugshot of the future. After all, when has a booking photo so perfectly captured the self-absorption of the Facebook generation? A quick scan of Google’s funniest mugshots reveals a motley assortment of crossed eyes, protruding tongues, horrible haircuts and unintentional derpiness. No question, Drunk Mom is in a class by herself, the new standard for Mugshot Selfies.
Perhaps it seems cruel to joke so flippantly about a fellow overdrinker’s brush with tragedy. Had Grohman’s baby been injured, this wouldn’t be a very funny story. But she also wouldn’t have been so darn sassy for the cameras.
Beware the Camera Reverse Button
Would Grohman’s mugshot have even been possible before the dawn of the selfie? Granted, if you’re a stroller-toppling drunk, you’re probably not thinking too hard about going viral. Still, with everyone and the President snapping self-portraits on a whim, it’s easy to imagine that our impulses have been rewired for a brave new world where anybody’s face can become a meme. Now when Grohman hits the local Walmart, she’s more than a Humble resident, she’s Drunk Mom—a dubious distinction, but a distinction nonetheless.