Behind Blue Eyes—The Curse of Alcoholism
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Behind Blue Eyes—The Curse of Alcoholism


You peeps with blue peepers may think you’re hotter than the rest of us but you might want to keep an eye (pun 100 percent intended) on your tolerance for liquor. Apparently, the lighter your eye color, the more likely you are to be an alcoholic.

I know, I don’t really get why a full-blown research project was devoted to this either, or how it’s supposed to help those struggling with a drinking problem. Maybe it serves as a good justification for those still denying a destructive habit?

“Of course I black out every time I drink Grey Goose martinis! I’ve got green eyes!”

Okay, we have to assume it’s got some purpose. And as the results suggest, that purpose may be that people will be more cautious about their drinking patterns if they are aware of their own inherent traits. Oh, and something about maybe giving us a better understanding of the intrinsic causes of mental illness. But blah, blah, blah, are they really telling blue-eyed people they’re drunks?!

The Burden of Baby Blues

The study, which was conducted by the University of Vermont, isn’t the first of its kind. Fifteen years ago, they released research with similar findings but only to the extent that darker-eyed people reported having a slightly lower average amount of drinks than lighter-eyed people. And that study included women only. But that doesn’t necessarily say much about alcoholism since it’s not just about how many drinks a person has. Plenty of people who definitely aren’t alcoholics drink more than a “moderate” amount or suggested serving for their gender/weight/height in one sitting.

Supposedly, this research supports the concept of alcoholism as a disease. Since eye color is a genetic inheritance, the study further validates that the old family tree is the number one reason why someone becomes an alcoholic. A booze allergy is most likely bestowed upon someone by one or both of their parents and, if not them, most likely a grandparent, uncle or great, great aunt. Basically, you probably won’t be able to fight your genetic makeup.

Brownies Aren’t in the Clear

But to be clear, the Van Morrison-beloved brown-eyed girls (and boys) out there should experience zero relief from this theory. Y’all can still totally develop drinking problems. I know, it sucks, right? As many will point out, this observation about blue-eyed folks and alcohol dependency is really more correlation than causation. We aren’t going to start branding babies as future alcoholics when their eye color is revealed. But Kahlua in their bottle may be cause for concern.

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About Author

Mary Patterson Broome has written for After Party Magazine, Women's Health Magazine Online, AOL, WE TV and Mashed. She has been performing stand-up comedy at clubs, colleges, casinos, and festivals for over a decade.