Just over a decade ago, Barbara Theodosiou was a a busy mother of four running a PR firm in south Florida. At the time, her third son Daniel was struggling with what they later discovered was undiagnosed Asperger’s syndrome. After suffering from beatings and bullies, she finally took him out of school but he’d already turned to drugs to cope. At 14, it was Daniel who suggested starting the online support group for people like his mother—a place for mothers of children with addiction to “share without shame.” Thus, The Addict’s Mom was born.
When a Simple Idea Becomes a Necessity
I had the pleasure of speaking with one of Theodosiou’s closest colleagues and friends, and also a member of The Addict’s Mom (often referred to just as TAM), Sherri Schlenke. Schlenke dubs Theodosiou “Mother Theresa from the Bronx” and claims, “I would not be who I am today had I not found The Addict’s Mom.” Shclenke tragically lost her own son to addiction and was not only devastated with grief but also living in fear of being labeled mother of a junkie. There are over 7,000 moms who felt the same way when they joined the group—stigmatized, ostracized and shamed.
There are some rules for being a member of TAM. Besides having to pass a background check of sorts, cursing, arguing, blaming or shaming are strictly prohibited. Members are only allowed to offer support, comfort and hope to fellow mothers. TAM has members all over the world from a range of socioeconomic backgrounds. Mothers who live in mansions and mothers who can’t pay their bills have at least one commonality: the heartbreak of a child crippled by substance abuse. The result of simply creating a basic forum where these women can turn has been astounding. It’s become a crucial resource for parents across the country; often TAM mothers are helping other members’ children get to food, shelter, the hospital or transportation. And as its bio suggests, “TAM moms are not organizing a bake sale, car wash, or school carnival.” They are rallying their lawmakers, health care providers, police forces, school administrators and other parents to raise awareness, expand treatment options and fight this deadly epidemic.
Props from the Big Ups
And it looks like Theordosiou isn’t just a hero to us and the mothers she’s met. She was recognized for her efforts by White House drug czar and honorary male member of The Addict’s Mom, Michael Botticelli (who has notoriously admitted that coming out as a gay man was easier than coming out as an addict) who hosted a live online forum for all TAM members to voice their concerns about national drug and alcohol policy. President Obama wasn’t far behind; Theordosiou was recently commended by President Obama as one of his “Champions of Change,” a distinguished honor given to those who take a grassroots initiative that gets people talking, sharing and changing about important subjects in the community. At the end of April she was even honored at an award ceremony at The White House. She has also appeared on CNN, various magazine covers and was the recipient of Maria Shriver’s “Architects of Change” award.
She is perhaps most importantly revered by all members of TAM for her selflessness, humility, generosity and willingness to come forward with her own tragedy in order to make others feel less alone in theirs. The support network she’s created with that intention is astounding to say the least. Sadly, Theordosiou’s son Daniel passed away in 2015, at the age of 23, after years of struggling with substance abuse and co-occurring disorders. Then her father died in March of this year. According to Shlenke, Barbara’s father always told her, “Never hang your head because this isn’t your fault.” She is clearly carrying that message and helping to reduce the stigma around addiction for those struggling and the parents of those struggling alike.
Sponsored DISCLAIMER: This is a paid advertisement for California Behavioral Health, LLC, a CA licensed substance abuse treatment provider and not a service provided by The Fix. Calls to this number are answered by CBH, free and without obligation to the consumer. No one who answers the call receives a fee based upon the consumer’s choice to enter treatment. For additional info on other treatment providers and options visit www.samhsa.gov.
